Social media killed my social life

I’ve heard the arguments. I agree with many of them. Social media, e.g. Facebook, have given us/me the opportunity of reconnecting with long lost friends. I’ve reconnected with my high school buddies and even with friends from before. Yes, it allows me to keep up with my daughters’ lives, a little. It allows me to connect with some of my wive’s friends and to get to know them. Social media lets me know about events. It connects me with politically like-minded individuals and even with some that are less like-minded.

But here’s the deal. Incredibly, just as the telephone did so before, social media has reduced my friends’ need to see me; I’m convinced of this. Unfortunately, I too am guilty. I too have less of an urge to just go see a friend because we connect so much online.

What am I going to do about this? Am I going to force the issue and reach out to my friends more, in person? Guess what, I’ve tried. Over the past six months, my wife and I decided to rekindle our love for dinner parties. So we put together the list of friends that we’d like to spend time with and we invited them over; some of them twice. There have been no reciprocal invites. The easy answer is that we’re not likeable and that people just don’t want us over. I would accept the premise were it not for all the other signs of friendship and the fact that I know full well that we’re not that bad.

My personal theory is that our lives are too busy and what time we did have for socializing, we’ve abdicated to our smartphones, tablets and laptops. Oh, yes, there is also Netflix, Hulu, Amazon and a thousand other ways of filling up time.

I miss the simpler form of friendship. Maybe in retirement?